Thursday, June 13, 2013

Bathroom Monologue: Superman has no weaknesses except…



…Kryptonite.
…magic.
…red suns, and apparently any freaking red lamp put together by a two-bit prodigy.
…the umpteen other Last Kryptonians Alive.
…the hundreds of other characters, non-Kryptonian and still depicted as equal or greater in strength.
…mind control.
…nanobots and other pesky SciFi infections.
…blackmail.
…declining ad rates. He is a newsman, after all.
…really, really sharp things, of which the DC Universe has a questionable abundance.
…the villain-of-the-week who beats him up to seem formidable when facing other heroes.
…constantly being outsmarted despite spending all his time thinking about crisis management.
…bad writing.

14 comments:

  1. I thought it was just kryptonite, but you're right.

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  2. Sharp things? Huh. Bullets are supposed to bounce off. What about full metal jacket bullets, that have a sharp pointy tip? Add a Kryptonite coating, and you could put an end to that pesky superhero....

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    Replies
    1. He's been shot with so many Kryptonite bullets that I kind of laugh now.

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  3. Nice list. All I could come up with was Kryptonite.

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  4. Awesome list. I would add xenophobia.

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  5. I mean he experiences it, not that he has it.

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  6. Thanks for the giggle, it made me almost spilled my coffee.

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  7. Don't forget Lois Lane, and damsels in distress, in general. I've lost count of the number of times he dove head first into an obvious trap in order to rescue any number of damsels in distress.

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  8. After looking at the list, it almost makes him seem not Super. I heard a rumor that he can be tamed by Wonder Woman's Lasso. You have to admit being able to reverse the earth's rotation in order to turn back time is pretty cool. I'm looking forward to seeing "Man of Steel" on the big screen. Maybe Father's Day Weekend?

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  9. Put like that, it is a wonder he survives.

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  10. So true, so true.

    We're going to see the new movie tonight... and while the previews have been pretty awesome, I'm fairly skeptical and not holding out much hope (even if the movie is directed by Christopher Nolan... I'm not as much a Nolan fan-girl as some). Superman is hard to do in movie-format, I'm coming to realize. Also, having been a fan of Smallville for 10 years, it's hard for a 2 hour movie to compare. LOL

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