Tuesday, September 7, 2010

Bathroom Monologue: Flaccid Floods

Every spring they offer aphrodisiacs to the River Queen. They reap the deepest wheat and darkest grain, set it all in burning boats and let them drift down her sacred channels. They do it not for her, but for her husband. The River King is amorous only at the beginning of the season. If his lusts go unmet, he loses his erection and pisses into the river until it overflows. Entire harvests are ruined when the couple does not lie together. Not believing in conventional prayer, they can’t beseech their gods directly and explain how their love life controls humanity’s supper. All they can do is try to help a brother out.

9 comments:

  1. This reminds me of CS Lewis's 'Til We Have Faces. Have you read the book? It's a mythology retold.

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  2. I've never seen that Lewis before. Been slowly going through his works. What mythology does it cover?

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  3. Loved it more than the button would indicate.
    Mary

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  4. I thought C.S. Lewis only wrote Christian themed books...?

    Interesting premise. I didn't see where it was going!

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  5. "All they can do is try to help a brother out."

    giggling helplessly. I'm going to say that to the next ten people I see apropos of nothing.

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  6. Gany, Lewis wrote a pretty famous space opera trilogy. I wouldn't be surprised if he had other things, though I am curious what mythology he'd subvert.

    Karen, so long as you get a few of them to float aphrodisiacs down the river, consider it Creative Commons.

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  7. Things are very disturbing in your bathroom, Mr Wiswell.

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  8. No kidding, Bernard. All the flooding.

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  9. Every guy needs a little help every now & then, even the River King. :)

    And, since every one is talking C.S. Lewis, I'll just say that Screwtape Letters is still my favorite.

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