Thursday, May 20, 2010

Bathroom Monologue: “You have ten million dollars for the use of showing that some aspect of evolutionary theory is true. What do you do?”

“You have ten million dollars for the use of showing that some aspect of evolutionary theory is true. What do you do?” –Secondhand report of a question from one of my sister’s tests at Sarah Lawrence College

On Monday I will open bids for a $9,999,000 grant to any and all HIV research facilities. Using about $1,000 for travel and sleeping on the couches of scientists, I will tour various labs and institutes as they pitch how they will use the grant to find a cure. The one that is most persuasive receives the entire grant, with the caveat that they will have to share some of their research and answer any questions I have.

They will then spend their grant.

I will then write up how they charted, combated and attempted to curb the rapidly evolving HIV strains. HIV only persists against chemical cocktails because ensuing strains adapt to survive. Writing up a their research will demonstrate micro-scale evolution, while also putting almost ten million dollars into a cure for one of the world’s most insidious diseases.

Eat it, Sarah Lawrence Science department.

4 comments:

  1. Ha! There's a plan. Now all you have to do is find the money. Well said.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Was this a real question? I love your answer, and would want to see the people's faces as they read it.

    ReplyDelete
  3. According to a very reliable source who took that Bio final, yes, it was a real answer. And I made fun of it for hours afterward.

    Thanks you too!

    ReplyDelete
  4. That is a very compelling and convincing argument for evolution. I'm putting that one in my pocket.

    ReplyDelete

Counter est. March 2, 2008