Saturday, January 16, 2010

Bathroom Monologue: God of Rebellion

There is no God of Rebellion. Okay, there is, but there isn’t. You see, he climbed out of his father’s head (like many gods do at birth) and immediately swore off his godhood. He has all the powers and immortality of a god, but refuses the office. That’s true to rebel fashion, I think you’ll see: happy to keep what advantages you have even when damning their source. At first he simply refused to go to Olympus or Parnassus, but when he heard that glorious Jupiter might have owned the earth, he took to a houseboat in the Mediterranean. That is the domain of his uncle, Neptune, but since he never talks to that deity he feels comfortable there. Should there ever be a God of Houseboats, though, he will likely abandon it. Officially, he refuses to cause or endorse any rebellions. Protests and revolutionary wars may continue to happen, but no matter what you hear, he has nothing to do with them. Never mind that a thing can’t happen without its God signing off on it. He is not being paid under the table by his father to keep rebellions going. He has nothing to do with them.

Please don’t hit me.

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